Today Starbucks announced that, starting in July 2009, it would close 600 company-owned US stores. This announcement brought a jump in the stock price of $0.72 – the first time the stock has moved upward in almost two years! That’s probably because Britney started upping her frapp intake to ensure that none of the six Starbucks at her nearest intersection would close. You’d think her intake alone would be enough to stop this tragedy from occurring!
This means that approx 12,000 emo kids will be out of a job! nooooo! That’s not including the thirty-year-olds-with-faux-hawks-managers that will also be out of jobs. Ok, we don’t like news that puts people out of jobs. Well, at least the local bookstore poetry readings will have plenty of “performers” to choose from. I kid, I kid. I love everyone at Starbucks! My local is very friendly, even though they are perpetually “out” of those mini vanilla bean scones. I found out the other day that’s because the staff are eating them all! What?! Maybe that’s why they have to close stores, “hungry” staff.
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